Family can nurture us; give us assurance and provide a sense of belonging. It’s a place where we can reveal ourselves, but family is also a place of high drama where we can express our passion or rage, offering an uninhibited exchange of feelings and emotional distress.

To old and young alike, the family offers unflappable sanctuary from the outside world. It’s the foundation from which we launch ourselves into the world, and at moments, it can provide a haven from a world where it may be difficult to fully reveal ourselves.

When we are young, we are powerless and dependent upon our parents and siblings, but as we mature and define ourselves, we launch ourselves onto the outer world driven by ambition and a need to find purpose. We find work, and through our peers and mentors, we forge ourselves with a purpose, all the while honing our skills. But work is difficult and a high-stakes game in which our identity, our esteem, and our ability to provide, all come together, sometimes in explosive ways. During such times, families can act as a shock absorber to assaults from the outside world.

It’s human nature to want to fit in… to belong… to experience closeness with others. Not only do we want to belong to a group, but we also want to believe we are special, important, and a valued member of that group.
Members of a family tend to fit together as a functional whole – behaviors tend to be complementary or reciprocal, but this does not mean that members have equal power, it means that belonging to a family opens people to reciprocal influences and involves them in each other’s behavior in inextricable ways. There are many relationship patterns from nurturing to distant, to contentious, to close or remote.

Family can be a bed of reciprocal behavior and influences, and sometimes repeat themselves. Relationship patterns in previous generations may provide a model for family members’ behavior in followings generation. Therefore, what happens in one generation will often repeat itself in the next.

But Families provide a sense of belonging and connection that no other group can match. Families are about caring, loving, accepting, and providing long-term commitment to each other. That’s not to say that families don’t fight or have disagreements, because they do, but one can use those experiences to grow and learn more about each other.  Families can be like a well that can be tapped to sustain us and provide a sense of grounding and well-being.